The issue is “control”, the opposite being “out of control”. No limitations; if I am angry, something is destroyed. When uncomfortable, I self-medicate. If I feel disrespected, I retaliate. I blame someone else for my unmet needs, society is at fault, my parents are at fault, the boss is at fault, and God is at fault. This man is "out of control”; he does things he may not want to do or find pride in. He is not bound by normal restraints, society rules or his own conscience and can’t fulfill responsibilities. He certainly doesn’t pay any attention to God’s Commandments.

 A man, “out of control", will beat the wife he is suppose to protect. A man, “out of control", will sexually and physically abuse his own children, whom he is supposed to make comfortable and secure. A man, “out of control", will use dangerous drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and other practices in the name of pleasure and liberties. This man is not bound, however, to any race, culture, or national origin. He is rich and poor, educated and uneducated, socially excepted and stigmatized.

 There are many signs in the life of a man “out of control”. He makes New Years resolutions and never keeps it through the month of January. He joins recovery groups but never recovers. He goes through rehab programs and relapses before the bill is paid. He is incarcerated for criminal active, does his time, violates parole, and is then re-incarcerated. He goes to the altar, confesses his sins to God, asks for forgiveness, promises to change, but puts forth no effort to keep that promise. He lies to God. He has no trouble lying to himself, his parents, his wife, his children, his boss, his friends, his probation or parole officer, pastor or counselor, or maybe even you.

What is the mind-set of this man that is “out of control”? His reality is he’s invisible; he can slip past anybody or get away with anything. He sits watching for opportunities to get something for nothing. He thinks nobody could possibly know what he is thinking. He feels his deviate fantasies will never be exposed. He has a justification for everything, an excuse for every action, an alibi for every hour. The true reality of a man out of control is hurting himself and those who come in contact with him. We only believe what we tell ourselves; if we lie then our lives are built on lies. When the father of lies is in control, then man is "out of control" and we cut our God given potential short. 

Grow into self-control; every habit has to be practiced and then becomes a skill. Self-control is not an easy or quick habit to develop and it does not come over night or is learned in one or two sessions. It comes in hits and misses, in successes and failures as we become determined to practice good habits. The first and most important step is to not put yourself in places where your temptations are the greatest.  In your thinking, in your body, or your social life, you must avoid testing your weaknesses and putting yourself in harm’s way.  

 A clear picture of the change from a negative life-style to a positive life-style can be seen in behavior as a result of the development of self control of our emotions. In conversations with women we hear a lot of I feel, I feel, I feel, with men it is I think, I think, I think there in is the conflict.

Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Gal 5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

Gal 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

The new person is changed from spiritual death to spiritual live by the renewing of the mind, as a man thinks so is he.

The three stages of self control is:

1. Prayer, because we need the power to decide to be free to gain control over the negative enslaver. 
2. Study, so we can use the power of freedom to properly maintain the control over the nagative thinking and behavior.
3. Witnessing, because it is the outward demonstration of the power of grace, mercy, and self determination to let the mind of Christ be in us.